If the other parent refuses to attend Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), you are not stuck. Under Australian family law, you must generally make a genuine attempt at FDR before applying to court for parenting orders. If the other parent refuses to participate, or fails to attend after being invited, an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner can issue you a Section 60I Certificate confirming this. That certificate allows you to apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for parenting orders, even though mediation never took place. In other words, one parent’s refusal cannot block you from moving forward. It simply changes the pathway. In this article, we explain what actually happens when an invitation to mediate is declined or ignored, what the certificate process looks like, and the practical steps you can take before, during and after a refusal.
Why FDR comes first
The Family Law Act 1975 requires separated parents to make a genuine effort to resolve parenting disputes through Family Dispute Resolution before going to court, except in limited circumstances such as urgency or safety concerns. The intention behind this requirement is a good one. Mediation is generally faster, less expensive and far less adversarial than litigation, and agreements that parents shape themselves tend to last longer than orders imposed by a judge.
But the process only works if both people take part. So what happens when one parent simply says no, or goes quiet altogether?
Step one: the invitation to mediate
FDR usually begins when one parent contacts a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) and asks them to invite the other parent to participate. At Kannen Mediation, this invitation is made carefully and neutrally. It is not a demand or a legal threat. It explains what FDR is, why it is being proposed, and how the other parent can respond.
A refusal at this stage can take a few forms:
- An outright “no” in response to the invitation
- Ignoring the invitation entirely, despite reasonable attempts to make contact
- Agreeing in principle but repeatedly failing to attend or engage
Each of these is treated seriously, and each is documented. A good practitioner will make more than one attempt to reach the other parent, using more than one method where possible, so that no one can later say the invitation never really arrived.
Step two: the Section 60I Certificate
If the other parent refuses or fails to attend, the FDRP can issue a Section 60I Certificate stating that the other party did not attend. This is one of five types of certificate an FDRP can issue, and it is the one that applies when mediation could not happen because one person would not participate.
The certificate does not say who was right or wrong about the parenting dispute itself. It simply records, formally and neutrally, that you attempted FDR and the other parent did not take part. With that certificate, you can file an application for parenting orders with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
You can read more about how these certificates work, including the other types and when each applies, on our Section 60I Certificate page.
Does refusing mediation look bad in court?
This is one of the most common questions we hear, and it is worth answering honestly. The court’s primary focus is always the best interests of the child, not punishing a parent for declining mediation. A refusal on its own does not decide the outcome of a parenting case.
That said, the court does expect parents to make a genuine effort to resolve matters before litigating, and judges can and do take a party’s approach to dispute resolution into account, particularly when it comes to costs. A parent who refused a reasonable invitation to mediate, then runs an unsuccessful case, may find that choice examined. More practically, refusing mediation usually means both parents lose the chance to shape their own arrangements, and hand that decision to a judge who has never met their children.
If you are the parent doing the inviting, the takeaway is reassuring: making the attempt, in good faith and through an accredited practitioner, puts you in the strongest possible position whichever way the other parent responds.
What if the refusal is about safety, not stubbornness?
Sometimes a parent declines FDR for understandable reasons. Where there has been family violence, abuse, or a serious power imbalance, mediation in its standard form may not be safe or appropriate, and the law recognises this. Exemptions to the FDR requirement exist for cases involving urgency, family violence or child abuse, and an FDRP can also assess a matter as unsuitable for mediation after speaking with each party separately.
At Kannen Mediation, every matter begins with a confidential telephone intake and screening conversation with each parent individually. This is where safety concerns are raised and assessed. Our Family Dispute Resolution is conducted online via Zoom or a similar platform, and in some situations an adjusted format such as shuttle mediation can make participation possible where a joint session would not be. In shuttle mediation, the parties never sit in the same virtual room. Each parent remains in their own separate online room, and the mediator moves between those rooms. In other situations, the right answer is that FDR should not proceed at all, and the appropriate certificate or exemption pathway is explained.
If you are the parent who has been invited and you have safety concerns, please raise them during your telephone intake conversation. Declining to engage silently can leave your reasons invisible, while raising them through the screening process ensures they are properly considered.
Practical steps if the other parent is refusing
- Engage an accredited FDRP early. The invitation carries more weight, and is properly documented, when it comes from an accredited practitioner rather than back-and-forth text messages between parents.
- Allow reasonable time and attempts. A single ignored email is rarely enough. Multiple documented attempts, through more than one channel, build a clear record.
- Keep your own communication child-focused. Whatever you write to the other parent may one day be read by a judge. Calm, practical, future-focused messages serve you and your children best.
- Ask about the format. Some parents refuse because they dread facing their former partner. Our mediation is conducted online via Zoom or a similar platform, which removes the pressure of a physical meeting, and shuttle mediation goes a step further: the parties never sit in the same virtual room, and the mediator moves between separate online rooms. Lawyer-assisted mediation is another option. A skilled practitioner can explain all of these in the invitation itself.
- If mediation truly cannot happen, obtain your certificate and seek legal advice. A Section 60I Certificate is generally valid for 12 months, so there is a window in which to act. A family lawyer can advise you on your application and what interim arrangements may be needed.
Refusal is not always the end of the story
One thing we see regularly is that an early “no” softens over time. A parent who refuses in the heat of separation may reconsider once emotions settle, once they understand that mediation is confidential and impartial, or once court proceedings begin and the reality of litigation sets in. The court itself can order parties to attend dispute resolution during proceedings.
Because of this, we treat every invitation as an opportunity to inform rather than pressure. Even where a certificate is ultimately issued, the door to mediation stays open. Many families return to the table later and reach agreement before a final hearing, saving significant cost and conflict.
How we can help
Kannen Mediation provides accredited Family Dispute Resolution Australia-wide, conducted online via Zoom or a similar platform, with telephone intake and screening designed to handle exactly these situations. If the other parent is refusing to engage, we can manage the invitation process professionally, document every attempt, assess suitability and safety, and where necessary issue the appropriate Section 60I Certificate so you can take the next step with confidence.
If you would like to talk through your situation, call us on 0455 238 884 or email [email protected].
The information provided by Kannen Mediation, whether on this website, in our materials, or during our services, is general information only. It is not legal advice. You should obtain your own independent legal advice before making any decision or entering into any agreement.
