Co‑parenting does not come with a script. When you are juggling school terms, holidays and changing routines, it can feel overwhelming to make decisions that keep your children settled and supported. Mediation gives you a clear structure to move from uncertainty to workable agreements, without court and without escalating conflict. Here is how the process works in Australia, what choices you have at each step, and how to prepare before the summer and school holiday rush.
What co‑parenting mediation is and how it works
Co‑parenting mediation, also called Family Dispute Resolution, is a confidential process where a neutral, accredited practitioner helps you and the other parent negotiate arrangements for your children. The focus is your children’s wellbeing, stability and safety. At Kannen Mediation, Principal Mediator Kelly Neighbour brings a combined background in psychology and law, and practices active neutrality. That means she manages time, flow and focus so the conversation stays collaborative not combative, while keeping the legal context in view.
In most parenting matters you must attempt Family Dispute Resolution before applying to court, unless an exemption applies for reasons like family violence or urgency. If agreement is not reached, or mediation is not suitable, an accredited practitioner can issue a Section 60I Certificate so you understand your next steps.
Step 1: Triage and private intake
Your journey starts with a brief triage call or email to understand your situation and whether mediation is appropriate. Each parent then completes a private intake interview. This is not a joint session. It is a chance to be heard, discuss goals and concerns, and complete safety screening. Screening covers issues like family violence, substance use, urgency and any court orders. Suitability is assessed with care, and if mediation is not appropriate you will get guidance on exemptions or alternative pathways.
Tip for summer planning: book intake early. Calendars fill quickly ahead of Christmas and January travel. An early intake means you can secure session dates and give children certainty about holiday time.
Step 2: Choosing child‑focused or child‑inclusive
You can choose between two evidence‑based formats.
Child‑focused mediation: you and the other parent consider your children’s needs, routines and developmental stage. The mediator keeps the conversation anchored to what helps your children feel safe and settled.
Child‑inclusive mediation: with your consent and where appropriate for age and safety, a trained practitioner meets with your child and brings their views into the process in a sensitive, developmentally appropriate way. This is not asking a child to pick sides. It is about understanding what helps them feel secure.
Both options keep your children at the centre. The choice depends on the circumstances, your children’s age, and whether it is likely to support better outcomes.
Step 3: Scheduling online or in‑person sessions
Sessions can be in person at our Chatswood rooms or via secure online mediation. Online is often ideal when you live in different locations, prefer minimal contact, have work constraints, or are managing holiday travel. For online sessions, plan simple best practices: stable internet, a private room, headphones, and no interruptions. For in‑person sessions, arrive a few minutes early and bring snacks or water so you can stay focused.
Typical parenting matters resolve in one or more sessions. The mediator will recommend a format and duration suited to the issues, for example a focused 3 hour block, or multiple shorter sessions to stage decisions like interim and then long term arrangements.
Step 4: The joint mediation session
Your mediator sets clear ground rules for respectful discussion. Each of you will:
- Share your priorities and concerns.
- Identify issues to resolve, such as weekly routines, transitions, communication, and holidays.
- Explore options, reality test proposals, and negotiate practical solutions.
Active neutrality matters. Kelly guides the conversation, asks clarifying questions, and keeps your goals in sight. You will talk about specifics, not generalities. For example, rather than saying school holidays are hard, you will map exact dates, changeover times, and who will book flights.
When lawyers attend: some mediations are lawyer assisted. Your lawyer can provide advice in real time, help with drafting, and ensure proposals align with the legal framework. You can also obtain legal advice before or after mediation if you prefer to attend alone. Either way, the mediator remains neutral.
Step 5: Drafting outcomes and turning them into agreements
When you reach agreement, the mediator documents the outcomes. You will leave with clear terms that cover the detail you need to implement arrangements straight away.
What is a parenting plan in Australia? A parenting plan is a written agreement between parents that sets out arrangements for your children. It usually covers:
- Living and time arrangements during school terms and holidays
- Changeover times and locations
- Communication between parents and with children
- Travel permissions, passports and special occasions
- Decision making for education, health and extra‑curricular activities
How you will review and update the plan
A parenting plan is not automatically legally enforceable. Many parents are comfortable with a parenting plan because it is flexible and child centred. If you want enforceability, you can ask your lawyers to file consent orders in the Federal Circuit and Family Court. Your mediator can outline the pathway and timing.
Holidays and summer travel, what to include
To reduce stress over Christmas and school holidays, your plan should address:
- Start and end dates for each parent’s holiday time
- Exact changeover details, including locations and backup contacts
- Interstate or international travel permissions, notice periods, and sharing itineraries
- Gift giving, religious or cultural events, and family gatherings
- Screen time, sleep routines and health needs, especially for neurodivergent children
- Contingencies for heat waves, illness, or flight delays
- Finalise these items early so children know what to expect and you can book travel with confidence.
Payments and attendance, practical questions answered
How does co‑parenting mediation work?
It is a structured process that starts with private intake and safety screening, followed by joint sessions that are managed by a neutral practitioner. The goal is to reach practical, child centred agreements that you can implement immediately and, if desired, formalise with legal advice.
Do both sides have to pay mediation?
Private services usually ask each parent to contribute to the cost. Some families split fees equally, others apportion them based on income or agree that one party covers a larger share. Fee arrangements are discussed up front so there are no surprises.
What happens if one parent refuses mediation?
If a parent declines or does not participate after reasonable attempts, the practitioner can issue a Section 60I Certificate. This allows the willing parent to apply to court, subject to legal advice. If there are safety concerns or urgency, exemptions may apply. A refusal can also be revisited later if circumstances change.
When mediation is not suitable
If intake identifies serious safety risks, coercive control, or other factors that make mediation unsafe or unworkable, the mediator will advise you about exemptions, referrals and safer pathways. Your safety and your children’s wellbeing come first.
Why choose Kannen Mediation
Combined legal and psychological expertise: Kelly Neighbour holds a BA Psychology and LLB, and is an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner and mediator. You benefit from process skill and legal context in one place.
Active neutrality: balanced, structured facilitation that keeps the discussion on track and child focused.
Flexible delivery: in person in Chatswood or secure online sessions that fit your schedule, especially helpful before holiday periods.
Clear documentation: precise, workable agreements that set you up for lasting outcomes.
If you want to read more about the legal requirement to try mediation first, explore our overview of family dispute resolution.
Take the next step
If holidays or summer travel are on the horizon, now is the right time to schedule your intake so you can confirm arrangements early. Contact Kannen Mediation on +61 455 238 884 or [email protected] to book. You will get a structured pathway, a safe and supportive space, and a process designed to protect your children while helping you reach durable agreements.
Summary: Co‑parenting mediation gives you a step by step way to move from conflict to clarity. You start with private intake and safety screening, choose child‑focused or child‑inclusive, meet online or in person, negotiate with or without lawyers present, then document outcomes in a parenting plan with the option to formalise through consent orders. If one parent refuses, a Section 60I Certificate may be issued. The earlier you begin, the easier it is to put stable holiday arrangements in place for your children.
Internal references you might find useful:
Learn how a neutral FDR process works in Australia with family dispute resolution: https://kannenmediation.com.au/family-dispute/
See what to include when you create a parenting plan: https://kannenmediation.com.au/parenting-arrangements/.
Compare delivery options and tips for effective online mediation: https://kannenmediation.com.au/the-rise-of-online-mediation-how-virtual-dispute-resolution-is-changing-the-game-in-australia/
